Ashleigh

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Information

  • Years:
  • 56
  • Color of my iris:
  • I’ve got lively gray eyes
  • What is the color of my hair:
  • Redhead hair

About

My dungeon is a spacious sqft multi room studio, dedicated strictly to all things kink! A labor of love, I am ever collecting and expanding my gear to include some of the best names in BDSM production. Now, Take a look curious pet, there is so much to take in! One of the most important aspects of my pre-scene preparation is the complete sterilization of my dungeon. I would never feel comfortable in a space that appeared dirty or unkempt and I would expect my visitors to feel the same way.

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YOU are an essential part of what we do. Simply put, without recurring monthly contributions from readers like you, it's impossible to provide the high quality journalism that protects the marginalized and holds the powerful able. We've all seen what happens to communities when reporting disappears and falsehoods take root. So if you believe our mission is important and necessary, please consider a monthly or one-time contribution to the Strangerand we'll keep working hard for you and those who need it most!

People ask me lots of different questions, but the one I get asked the most is: "I live in [name of city]. So, you—or, perhaps, you and your partner—have kinky desires but no idea where to go with them.

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Here's how to find out where the other kinky folks are. It's pretty rare nowadays for such a search to yield nothing useful, but if that happens, try again with the name of the county, general area, or nearest larger town, until you hit pay dirt.

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What you're looking for are kinky e-mail lists and websites of local BDSM organizations. Next, look at the websites and e-mail them asking for more info. Get on the e-mail lists and read the posted messages, to get a sense of how people talk to each other.

Then introduce yourself and ask questions: What are the local organizations like? What's the advice for someone new to the scene?

Entertainment

Don't take everything you read as gospel—it's the internet after all. But BDSM people tend to be kind to polite newcomers and you're likely to get some decent feedback. Now, step two.

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This is the place where many people choke, because it involves actually going to an event, and that can be a scary thing for a new person. First, let me assure you that no one is going to leap on you the minute you walk in the door.

You only wish. I know you also fear committing a kinky faux pas, but they're actually pretty easy to avoid. Listen more than you talk, don't touch anyone you don't know, and if you're confused, ask someone for assistance.

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If you live in a reasonably urban area, another good word to throw in that Google search is "munches. Munches are low-key occasions: no collars and leashes, and no big kinky attitude. You're expected to wear street clothes and behave yourself. They're also an acknowledged entry point for new folks.

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Sit down and say, "Hi, my name is X and this is my first time here. If you're worried about what to wear, try a plain black T-shirt, blue jeans, and black boots. You may not win any fetish fashion awards, but no one will snicker at you. Now, let's have a talk about expectation management. If you've been fantasizing about BDSM for a while, you may have built up a lot of not-very-realistic ideas about what being in a room full of kinksters will look like.

Before you walk out the door, I want you to repeat after me: "This is not the one and only kinky event I will ever attend. It's just one evening, and I will Seattle bdsm club many other opportunities to attend other events in the future. If this particular event is not to my taste, I will try different ones until I find one I like. In spite of any unusual activities or opinions I may encounter, everyone at this event is a person much like myself with a job and a mortgage and a favorite flavor of ice cream, and they were all once just as new and uncertain as I am right now.

I may not meet the kinky love of my life at this particular event, but by attending I am creating space for that possibility. So my expectations for this event are modest, and I will treat everyone I meet with calm politeness and a nonjudgmental attitude. Male ID is required. Seattle Center House, Harrison St,1—3 pm, free. Register at www.

Dear Stranger readers: YOU are an essential part of what we do.

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