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Log in through your institution. Miscommunication theory suggests that many incidents of heterosexual sexual violence or coercion are the result of a miscommunication between men and women.


Some women consider themselves progressive, and claim that sexual liberty is a must for women. Yes, it is.

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The trouble is that women usually have sex with men that have actual value. Losing the investment of a man we already decided was high value in some way, or even just good looking, can be devastating. Yet I am starting to consider the possibility that mostly, these types of women are oriented towards the clitoral orgasm superficial orgasm and prefer to get off rather than connect deeply with men and commit themselves deeply.

To have anything other than a clitoral orgasm, such as a cervical orgasm, you have to be a lot softer, more relaxed, a lot more trusting, and emotionally open. That kind of orgasm in itself will demand some form of emotional connection with the man, which renders the woman vulnerable to the man.

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You feel used! They are suffering, and according to my inbox, they are sometimes crying at the drop of a hat because they opened up to a man sexually, and he left. Sure, for someone who feels like sex is lacking — good sex means everything.

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I understand that. To feel beyond the horniness in to our heart. And we will not just attract physical intercourse — but attract invisible sex, like the energy of attractionplayfulness, and polarity that you can experience when you are vulnerable and therefore become more polarised in to your unique feminine energy.

I imagine that good sex with just some man is nothing like good sex with the man who genuinely likes you.

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A man who peels you open in trust for himthe man who belongs only to you. And you to only him. By the way, how would you know if a guy is invested in your or not? Sometimes, men get hurt in casual sex situations such as his reputation gets hurt, but nothing like the deep heartbreak and emotional turmoil a woman can feel.

Cultural shifts in dating

After all, in their mind, their biology tells them that they got the better end of the deal! They risk getting STDs, they risk their reputation if their social group finds out, and especially if the social group finds out he slept with a woman whom they do not consider to be attractive. I would say that men and women get hurt just as much as each other when the sex is within a committed relationship and not just purely casual.

In casual sex situations where the man is not emotionally invested, women almost always risk losing something of value. And that value that is lost, is not necessarily the fact that they let the man have sex with them. By the way, men actually secretly love to commit, it just has to be the right woman!

But research has proven over and over, even in this day and age, that men desire fidelity highly in a wife the woman he commits to. And if a woman opens up to him sexually without her asking for much of his investment in her, then it will feel to him like she is easy.

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Just in case you thought women were the only ones who lose something from having many sexual partners…. From just a biological perspective, women risk more value, because of the loss of paternal investment. with two caring, committed parents arguably has more resources on his or her side than with one parent.

Although, of course, with two parents in an unhealthy relationship could be worse off than they would be with just one involved parent. From the perspective of his long term mate value relationship valuethe more women a man sleeps with without an emotional investment, the more he loses value. This quiz will help you! So, the more we as a woman or a man open ourselves to be sexually intimate and to intertwine with another human casuallythe more we potentially lower our value.

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The more a man gets involved with lots of women, the more jaded he can become and the less innocent he can become. Which makes him less fresh and valuable emotionally for a long term relationship. And I theorise that we think this way because when we keep letting in the wrong people over and over, causing us to lose our innocence, that jadedness and resentment makes us show up with less resources to navigate relationships.

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Why is this important? Yes, men suffer from engaging in casual sex too, because they become known as a womanizer, and women are less likely to invest emotionally in them. Men have to foot costs too. Still, often, men will be congratulated and will be encouraged for engaging in casual sex. Men get congratulated because they got a good deal. Such as really good genes for their offspring.

Women are more likely to choose the better looking guys for casual sex. Since they risk more, they need to secure a better trade-off. Why have casual sex with an ugly guy? They also often get congratulated for having lots of sex with women, not just because people are sexist per se, but because they got a fantastic bargain. Whereas, women let something valuable go, at not even a fraction of the price.

I talk about why this is in PART 1.

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Can you see how it is disempowering to encourage women to do it with no strings attached, when she always has to open in some minimal way, in order to let the man into her? Sure, we should be sexually liberated — but when a man has gained our trust. We want women to freely have sex, but we invalidate their emotional pain or even trauma related to casual under the carpet?

But we are also suppressing women by invalidating the feelings of women who really want to feel trust before sex. Because these women then go on to feel like their desire for deep emotional connection are wrong, or uncool. We are empowered and liberated when we are connected to what is real, and what is true of our bodies. Does it have to get to the point where we put a penis on to ourselves just to prove we can be them?

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No, our anger should be over the fact that a man wants sex with us without ever gaining our trust! No, we are the gatekeepers of our bodies. It just makes the woman feel a bit better about the night before, and helps the man free himself from any possible retribution towards him by an angry woman. Just because a man spends a tiny amount of money on breakfast relative to his incomedoes not mean he is interested in seeing his casual sex partner ever again.

A man being in love and genuinely liking you is the ultimate and instigator of his lifelong commitment and devotion.

Casual sex and how to have positive hookups, according to 5 women

Is your man serious about committing to you? Our bodies are ours. His responsibility at this stage, especially where he has no emotional investment in the woman, is to do the best for the survival of his genes.

This is to give you an objective view of how the world is today. They are here with a built in motivator for passing on their genes, just like women are. Might there be something wrong with the house?

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By the way, I want to teach you 5 secrets to having your man fall deeply in love with you and beg you to be his one and only. These 5 secrets are inside of my brand new program. I understand that there are cases where a purely sexual relationship is slightly more long-term than a one night stand or casual sex over a couple of days.

And, these are the cases where a woman is more likely to be getting something in return for her sexual offerings.

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What do I mean by giving? I mean emotional resources their soul, their vulnerabilitythey are simply involved in an exchange. An authentic relationship is based on vulnerability. So over time, as each partner makes themselves more vulnerable, the relationship becomes more sacred, more beautiful and more trusting. A woman can be involved in these AND receive substantial value back from the man short term emotional connection, sex, money, protection etc. So we are reducing ourselves to a human taking what we want for pleasure and comfort; rather than risking ourselves going out into the dating market with a truly vulnerable yearning.

Either the man or the woman is going to become more vulnerable than their partner — and the other person will say:. You were a mean time man!

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Of course, everyone has a sex drive. What we do with that is up to us. Some people just want to orgasm. Some people want something deeper. We can choose to open beyond the need for an orgasm in to yearning and vulnerability for a high value man, or we can choose to shut off to yearning and vulnerability, reducing feelings of attraction.

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Following on the heels of the mass media obsession, sociologists and psychologists have begun to investigate adolescent and young adult hookups more systematically.


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