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  • Age:
  • 31
  • Iris color:
  • Soft hazel green eyes
  • What is my body features:
  • My body features is fat
  • What I prefer to drink:
  • Lager
  • What I prefer to listen:
  • Classical
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  • In my spare time I love sailing


This is one of most common relationship questions I'm asked by clients, conference goers, and even from friends. People are especially prone to evaluating their compatibility and happiness with their partner when they see other couples experiencing what seems, from the outside, like pure relationship bliss. To help couples evaluate their relationships and compatibility more easily, I came up with this list of 50 relationship questions to ask your boyfriendgirlfriend or ificant other. The topics of discussion listed below will not only provide food for thought, but might even initiate the kind of communication breakthrough you've both been needing. It always amazes me how couples can go for weeks, months, or even years without diving deep and connecting in relation to each other's core values, beliefs and goals.


Researcher Arthur Aron developed 36 questions to ask your ificant other and to help people break through each of the intimacy levels. Check them out! I mean, have you really, truly, deeply asked the best questions to get to know them as a person?

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In the How Trap you get caught up in day-to-day logistics and check-ins. Sometimes we feel like we really know someone, but on the surface we are only familiar with the day-to-day. For example, when my husband and I get really busy, we can go days without asking any questions beyond logistics-type questions. We talk about plans for the weekend and updates from friends we saw on Facebook.

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I think this happens with couples, friendships, and especially parents and their. We let the deeper questions fade away. Psychology Professor Dan McAdams has studied what it takes to truly know someone. Level 2 can happen naturally as you live with someone, travel with someone, and have shared experiences.

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But Level 3 only can be done purposefully and with the right questions in a safe space. This brings me to the 36 couple questions. Find your ificant other, friend, parent, brother, sister, travel buddy, stranger you met onlineā€¦ really, ANYONE you want to get a little closer with! Make sure they are interested in completing the 36 questions with you. The last thing you want is to be interrupted by a phone call from your landlord! Sometimes, intimacy takes time to build up.

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So start with one per dinner perhaps or one per car ride. Take your time, savor them, expand on them, and see where they take you. One of my friends and I answer one of these each week. The questions are categorized in three different sets, with each set of questions a little bit more personal than the last. Keep in mind, vulnerability brings people closer. The point of these questions is to have sustained, escalating, and reciprocal self-disclosure.

Take time having both people answer the questions and truly listen to the answers without judgment. This step is completely optional, but according to a study by Japanese researcherseye contact activates the special parts of our brain responsible for empathy. These 36 questions were developed to help people break through each of the intimacy levels. You can do these with your partner or with friends.

50 relationship questions for couples to ask

I highly recommend them to parents and teens! So after numerous tests, he came up with these deliciously intimate questions to bring strangers closer together. Pairs of strangers who asked these 36 questions felt greater closeness than strangers who simply engaged in small talk. How about couples in a long-term relationship? We were both hooked as we fired off these questions back and forth!

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And the best part? Well, we did.

1. prepare yourself mentally and physically

They also invited the entire lab to their wedding ceremony. Check out these real life strangers asking each other the deep stuff.

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Her groundbreaking book, Captivate: The Science of Succeeding with People has been translated into more than 16 languages. As a recovering awkward person, Vanessa helps millions find their inner charisma.

The science of intimacy

She regularly le innovative corporate workshops and helps thousands of individual professionals in her online program People School. My new partner and I are just beginning to fall in love and want to learn everything we can about each other.

Excellent post. I used to be looking for this certain information for a long time. Thanks and best of luck. Its in fact amazing piece of writing, I have got much clear idea regarding from this paragraph.

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Thank you so much, interesting stuff as always. This for Carl, 28 is more personal toward the person you already know. These questions will definitely help me to understand them on a deeper level. Thank you for your work!

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True that we usually just focus on the day to day questions, often taking for granted the deeper questions that can truly strengthen our relationships. Thanks for the great article!

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Thanks heaps Team Science Of People. I will be asking these to my wife as well as answering them to her as well. These questions will help us really share who we are now!

Relationship questions to get to know your s.o. better

Absolutely, Tami. I hope these questions are just the start to more meaningful conversations with your spouse! Great conversations will come out of this! Thanks, Vanessa. Table of Contents. Wow this is great for teenagers who are just starting to date. Not idealistic for adults.

Thought-provoking questions for couples

Evelyn Smith. Danielle Science of People Team. Caelan Huntress. Awesome, Caelan! We hope you two have fun with it!

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. in Relationships.

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If you're dating someone, odds are that you know quite a lot about them.


She's also a communication expert who shares tips on motivation and relationships.


Whether you're in a brand-new relationship or you've been together for years, there's still things you've yet to learn about each other, even if you think you know every story, quirk, and foreplay move they've got.


It might feel uncomfortable to have a meaningful heart-to-heart.