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My ex and I broke up a couple years ago, but despite a series of flings since, I'm still not over him. Is it crazy to try and get back together? First thing's first: There was a reason why you broke up — remember that. It's easy to get relationship amnesia after a series of unsuccessful romantic entanglements. Sometimes failed dates or hook-ups can leave us sorting through our history and idealizing old, familiar partners.
Home Health Relationships. We all know that one couple with the classic on-again-off-again relationship.
Sometimes you just want to send them a guide to a smarter breakup. But maybe those wishy-washy romantics are onto something: Approximately 50 percent of couples get back together again after breaking up, and a new study suggests that the reason is that they were ambivalent about breaking up in the first place.
While the sensible thing is to stay far away from an old flame after calling it off, some people can convince themselves there are arguments for getting back together. A Kansas State University study that found nearly half of all couples reunite also revealed that couples who got back together assumed their partner had changed for the better or that they would be better at communicating. But the newer research suggests their motivation may be more prosaic. In a series of studies recently published in the journal Social Psychological and Personality Scienceresearchers from the University of Utah and the University of Toronto questioned people about why they might want to stay in or leave their relationship.
Popular reasons for wanting to stay were optimism hoping that the partner will changeemotional investment in the relationship, family duties, and fear of the uncertainty that would follow.
Most people 66 percent said they wanted to stay because of the intimacy and dependence they had developed with their partner over time. On the split side of the coin, people wanting to leave a relationship cited emotional distance, a breach of trust, and general incompatibility frequent fighting.
And more than a third—38 percent—wanted to leave due to unfaithfulness. Despite the negative feelings, 49 percent of those considering leaving still had mixed feelings about hitting the road.
The researchers point out that the findings align with the reality that about 50 percent of separated couples get back together again. The researchers also note that a breakup is often harder on the person doing it because of the doubt that lingers in the decision.
Nearly half of all separated couples give it another go. science has an explanation—and with the right mindset, reuniting may not be such a bad idea, after all.
This ambivalence explains why such a staggering amount of couples will choose to reconnect after a split. Examine your motives for doing so. If you do happen to get back together for a valid reason, remember to use your first round as a learning experience.
Each partner has to understand and be willing to work on whatever caused the breakup in the first place. Next, check out the red flags in a relationship that mean trouble.
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1. do some serious soul searching.
Search terms Search form submit button. By Hana Hong, RD. Nearly half of all separated couples give it another go.
Science has an explanation—and with the right mindset, reuniting may not be such a bad idea, after all. Popular Videos. Originally Published on Reader's Digest.
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