Francais chica Dating a singer songwriter friend to tickling

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Phoenix's independent source of local news and culture. Nicki Escudero May 8, AM. Ah, musicians. They're a special breed. They find emotional releases in writing melodies, they turn their personal lives into song lyrics, and they have to try to make relationships work despite groupie onslaughts and the airing out of their dirty laundry on stage.

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Danielle Durack is a Phoenix, AZ-based singer-songwriter.

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Her album No Place is out January Danielle Durack music essay personal essay relationships songwriting. I think I was four or five years old when I had my first crush. He lived across the street, and I would fantasize about riding off into the sunset with him on his Razor scooter.

This pattern continued through elementary, middle, and high school.

The wild infatuation, the months and sometimes years of keeping it to myself, the big dramatic confession of love, and then ultimately, rejection. My confidence within the world of love was on a steady decline, but the endless stream of rejection never did anything to hinder my innate desire to love and be loved.

While my love life was shattering my self-esteem, it was simultaneously fueling my creative inclinations. I started writing songs when I was in the fifth grade, mostly angsty ball about feeling alone in the world and super secret love songs.

Not much has changed. The song titles alone were enough to raise some eyebrows from my partner. At least half of our arguments were started by a new song. These arguments prompted new songs, which prompted new arguments and on and on and on.

Writing songs is admittedly a pretty passive aggressive way to handle interpersonal conflict. I empathize with this struggle. However, it reveals an impending lifelong challenge for me of two potentially opposing desires: To freely create and share my work as a confessional singer songwriter, and to find sustainable and fulfilling romantic love.

Add this to the fact that my verbal communication skills are subpar, and inevitably, these men find themselves on the proverbial guillotine, often completely unaware that I was unhappy in the first place. I feel free to say what I need to say.

I am able to focus on articulating my ideas rather than getting caught up in the anxiety of potentially causing hurt to a loved one. I think I write to work through my feelings just as much as I write to express them.

For this reason, I refuse to censor myself. When it comes right down to it, I will always choose my music, and by association, myself, over romantic love, despite how desperately I want it.

So in my mind, there are two possible outcomes. The first is that I die alone, which is plausible.

Someone who can listen through an angry song, work through the underlying issue, and let the song live on as a fond memory of a time we overcame. Danielle Durack. Photo Credit: Eunice Beck.

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