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You are absolutely, mind-blowingly, heart-meltingly in love, but there's just a small problem.
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While the world situation may be putting future plans on hold for now, life will go on, which is why you may be thinking about the future of your relationship, even especially? That said, it can be really hard to know when it's the right time to start talking about a bigger commitment with your S. That's why we tapped experts to find out what the rules are on how long you should be together before you walk down the aisle.
Their responses might surprise you. Dates and Deadlines First off, there's no hard-and-fast minimum time requirement for deciding when to get married. It totally depends on you, your partner and your relationship.
Give yourself time to know your partner through the good times and the bad
On the other hand, Anita Chlipala, d Marriage and Family Therapist and owner of Relationship Realitysays she usually recommends 12 to 18 months at minimum, "because that's the average time it takes for infatuation to fade. Research shows that there's truth to the adage 'love is blind,' where the critical thinking parts of the brain shut down during infatuation.
Chilipala also emphasizes the importance of getting through arguments effectively.
It's important to have arguments to see how you both react and how you handle it. Happy couples aren't without conflict, but they handle their arguments differently than unhappy couples. This can be exciting and fun in the beginning of a relationship, but it can lead to frustration if they want the person to 'settle down' and schedule things in advance. The spontaneous person might feel that the planner is taking all the fun out of life and their relationship. And round and round we go.
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So there you have it: When it comes to marriage, there are no formulas that will tell you exactly how long you should date based on your age, past relationship experience or anything else. The most important thing is to understand your needs in a relationship, how well your partner fulfills those needs and how your value systems match up.
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Up. Major Milestones And even though there are no official "rules" about how long you should date, there are some milestones you probably want to get to before taking the plunge. Attachment style.
Does one person hide at work or behind hobbies so he or she does not need to engage in the relationship too much? While it's logical to think that if you're older, it might be easier to make a decision about who you want to spend your life with, this isn't always the case. When it comes down to it though, "The more you know yourself and can communicate your expectations and needs effectively, the less time you need to date someone to know if they are a good fit," says Chilipala.
If you're going after a type that isn't a good fit, it's good to understand why before you commit to marrying someone.
People don't change just because they get married. The Bottom Line So there you have it: When it comes to marriage, there are no formulas that will tell you exactly how long you should date based on your age, past relationship experience or anything else.
How long should you date before getting engaged?
Photos via Getty This post has been updated from a post. Julia is a writer, editor and proud life-long vegetarian based in Brooklyn, NY. An avid traveler, meditation enthusiast and exercise junkie, she stays active in every new locale she visits. DFP Relationship Advice living together having kids relationships. Trending Stories. Food Recipes Roundups.
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